The Puzzle of Life within the Movie

This path was a path I knew I was to walk down, it was a calling that I never really understood. But in reality when I first stepped onto this road I never understood myself. At times I would feel as though I had the answer to who I really was. However on this road I had experienced things that enabled me to not only let go of the past but understand parts of myself properly that I uncovered long ago.

This was a puzzle for me, a lesson that runs incredibly deep & I believe in life things are never coincidence - every little thing in our lives occurs for a reason. That gut feeling is usually right & the sense of knowing that you cannot explain.

For me I still remember that day when I knew this was the road to take, I remember my internal dialogue and one that seemed to stem from a place beyond me- the reassurance & at the same time confusion I felt. One side of this path seems so entirely physical, entirely materialized and labelled in a way- but to me it never was. It was always deeper than what people could see.

I am not like most people, at times I have blended I have contorted or tried to shy away from the fact that I am entirely strange. However anyone I let my guard down to a little bit or express something I inwardly knew about them- tends to know. I see people deeper, know things deeper than I can explain.

This path has not been conventional but neither have I, the world sees sex- I see something much deeper but the act of sex enables many to let down walls- the removal of fear of judgement opens them up to it all. I will never share specifics as many people I know I have been placed in their lives at specific times - some for many different reasons & that trust that's been given to me I will never break. For so many people I have so very gratefully been their safe place & through space and time I will remain to be.

This was not only a lesson for me which I will share a little more - but I was a catalyst for many. And for many others a rock, a light in a dark time & a piece of acceptance they needed to start to accept themselves & for that I am grateful. I have saved lives, not in a way that a fire fighter or paramedic but I have prevented people from going down roads they cannot return from, stopped triggers & calmed internal dialogues that no one else could hear. I have helped people heal in ways that someone with a piece of paper never would have - because that piece of paper doesn't make you a safe space. This job, the title, the stigma as horrible as it was to deal with at times & the own inner battle that caused- that stigma made people feel who am I to judge? Some may see the negative side of that, but I see the beauty that it enabled me to help people accept themselves, tell their truths and for many save or change their lives.

I have always been someone who likes to be alone, be in nature, sit in silence and listen to the sound of the birds, the frequency emitted from cicadas & crickets. Not because I do not like to connect with people, just when I do I do so very deeply. I often feel others emotions, know things about them they never say & have a way of knowing sometimes a gentle nudge that would help them on their way.

I don't see people as something I need to possess. I also don't see clients as an item or something that must stay "in my books" forever I see them as souls on a journey that some how we met here together - sometimes our story will be long, sometimes short - but those I actually connect with I know years and years can go by and they will still think of me & as always I will always be wishing and hoping they are happy & well. I have never needed to take notes, because the rapport I build with people is true - when I've seen someone a few times I know them deeply. (Possibly my inner spy lol)

I see friendships as the same, that more often than not I am brought into a person's life to help them realize something about themselves & sometimes to see something that was once within me inside another person - that lessons are often to be learnt from every interaction & while space is held many connections are simply meant to be stepping stones for people. More often than not those stones go in different directions & if I truly care and love for someone you let them walk their path even though you know it will mean you are apart.

My life has been a life filled with the understanding and ability to be able to let go - to be able to appreciate things for what they are in the moment, learn from everything even if it takes years to realize that lesson. To never cling to tightly for when you do it only stagnates every area of your life & never lets the lessons be learned in order for your true blessings to come to you. I have let go of everyone and everything at times in my life, including who I once believed to be me & my "story".

This endeavor was needed for me in a way that I think I will always keep private but every single thing I have experienced I am grateful for and needed. Some parts of this journey I will not lie were at the time terrifying, painful & brought about incredibly low feelings - but within those times are the times I truly learnt myself, embraced parts of my early life that I never truly got to before in a unique way that no other conventional methods would have allowed. So those moments that thankfully are long behind me were so necessary as that healing that took place enabled me to become who I am now & hold the space that I have for people over the past few years, not only in this work but in all my interactions with humans.

Some may think this job it's about sex, but for most there is something deeper than that- maybe because sex is energy. Sex is movement - sex is creation - sex is expression- sex is connection. When people think of sex they think of only the physical act and I'm telling you as someone who is incredible at sex (haha sorry but I can't even dim my own abilities here) that if my own energy is off or not where it needs to be the sex will not be as good. My job isn't just about the physical it's about to evoke an energy that enables expression of sexual energy to do that you need to be in full understanding of your own energy..when you can it enables a person to feel safe enough to express that. That makes someone feel who they truly are. Connect not only with the energy that's being created but with themselves if they let it and that's generally a very hard part for people to do as the taboo of their own desires and imprisonment they have put on their own minds & I know this first hand.

In modern society we are all told to be certain ways, told one things right, one things wrong and in the privacy of our own minds, feelings and energy we are usually facing conflicts. For me- I see myself as someone who is meant to help people understand themselves, accept themselves and untangle the thoughts, beliefs and limits in their own heads to find which ones serve them & others - which ones makes them dislike their true selves & judge others.

I have come to look at life differently, and this way helps me find more peace in all situations -

Every person's life is a film within a larger film. Every soul here is an expression of a creators- however you like to call them. You are energy 99.99% energy - 99.99% technically nothing that can be seen with your physical eye- so is everyone and everything else. So yes we are all connected and we are so much larger than we could ever comprehend.

Every bad day, every twist and turn in your life you are meant to understand, to learn from and to be able to sit there one day as you see the puzzle coming together and marvel in the creators work- marvel at how every down fall made the rise that much sweeter. That's to say if you truly appreciate the creators work you must also realize that other people are a film that is created by the exact same energy that created yours - it's art in another expression. You are an expression of art and so are they. Never should you judge because you do not understand the movie that is being made in their life & how that one film unfolds in the larger film of life- as none of us truly know how that will unravel or the extent and duration it has been playing.

We will never truly know who is right & who is wrong. In my honest opinion we are all right- and the only wrong is we have proclaimed that another is wrong. We are all expressions of the same thing in different forms meant to join together to understand life.

That evolution isn't something that is achieved on the physical but rather when humans learn how to evolve their non physical being. When time and space are seen for what they truly are- and illusion and reality is seen as not that different to a dream as everything is interwoven.

Possibly I sound like something from outer space right now, that I am proclaiming all of my job is a mystical experience and every job of mine is about healing a part of a person & well you still wouldn't be getting me. My job has sex alot of sex, I am incredibly good at and enjoy sex & the acts and energy it entails. Sex is powerful & does so much more than just release an orgasm - especially when it's done right & sex whilst it can be done by anyone - anyone can be given a pair of scissors and cut hair- but not everyone will do it well. Professionals have more practice, training and skill then some go into this as they have a natural talent and flare - it's their art, it's their calling.

Unlike a hair style or a picture hung on a wall - sex is an energy more than anything at all. You can record it & watch it from afar but unless you are directly engaged with the energy you couldn't truly know what's going on. Sometimes the energy dances in synch sometimes it's to its own tune & what happens inside during sex is completely within you. At times I shied away from this and couldn't really accept how large a part sex has had in my life, that it was something I should feel remorse or shame, conceal or make excuses for- regardless of the true depths of things I have done & that which I know - sex is something natural & has made me who I am today.

You know when you have this feeling in life that you are tying loose ends - that you have a realization that you learnt what you were meant to. Now I'm just dancing in flow until it's time to go on a new journey. But some lessons are meant to be shared & for me in this peculiar philosophical sort of way is what is best for my journey & those that have been part of it. I think self realization & acceptance has been the sealing of my puzzle & for that I have another to thank for teaching me it's okay to be me in every way & from that I have a sense of knowing everything is unfolding in the absolute perfect way.

Thanks for being here & if you haven't met me you would be thinking wow what the hell lol- if you have we have likely spoken. Evolution, AI, quantum physics & other bizarre things so it's of no surprise lol.

Hugs & kisses

Armarni Bulkani

xxxx