The misconstrued idea that I am retiring for a man, a relationship etc. I fell for someone who was a client - yes, but they could not accept my escorting career- not only while in it - but even if I left it. As much as I see the hypocrisy in this, I am grateful he was man enough to have the difficult conversation & be honest about it. Unfortunately, alot would not be so honest - pretend they are okay with it and would end up being vindictive about it.
So no, I'm not retiring for a man. Nor is any man funding my ventures. I'm funding it all myself. I'm putting in the work like I have been the past 12 months or so. I'm just reaching a point where to be more successful in my trading I need to be in complete routine- and escorting is not very structured- in the way I like to conduct my business anyway. On weekdays I need to have complete structure, zen & certain tasks I need to complete. I do not need or want my work phone interupting me so I have adjusted my availability.
To reach the next levels I need to focus, so I made a commitment to myself that all weekday is education & pe-trade routine (fitness, fasting, diet, self-care, Hypno, meditation, yoga, charting, study, affirmations - etc). 5pm- 1am in in the markets & during trades backtesting AUDJPY- gold etc. I'm in trading communities learning more & developing my skills. I'm not dating anyone. I do not have time.
On Saturday & Sunday I am escorting still- but only with bookings I want - with people I want to see. Right now my mental health is the most important thing, my focus. I've became more disciplined on all energies I've allowed into my life. I even have to schedule calls because I am so busy. My down time like watching a show is also scheduled.
I feel like my perception of money, has changed. I guess trading does that too you & honestly unless it's people I have developed a rapport with I don't feel like it's worth it. Dates, overnights etc like I enjoy those because when people book them I know 💯 they are looking for more than a sex checklist. Because connecting, talking & helping people unlock parts of themselves is what I actually do as Armarni, men just need to have that sexual energy sometimes in order to do that. But I enjoy those sorts of connections so I'm still welcoming them.
Soon, it will be about energy & time which it already sort of is- but as I get more funding, I will have more accounts I'm working on and I will be too tiered to do this. Saturday & Sunday is also the day I'm spending more time with my fur family, calling my friends/family, going out with friends. So I'm aware soon my perception of the value of my time will be obscene.
I have done this for 8 years- I've not had a conventional relationship in 8yrs. I closed out alot of cycles the past 8months. I'm not someone who needs that anyway, as I am someone very happy on my own. It is scary though I won't lie- I've never in my real life done online dating or tinder etc. I've never been on a blind date, I've only dated men I was already very close too & not had one night stands etc- only in long term relationships.
This sort of modern culture is not really something I want to welcome into my life personally for myself either - so I personally don't think I will even date while I'm still in this country. Because can you imagine a girl waiting for long term commitment haha then adding on my occupational backgrounds 😅.
Then you have power dynamics, alot of men won't admit it but they don't like women they are dating being smarter than or making more money than them. I knew to play dumb for years. Even as an escort I've seen some become slightly intimidated if I show my actual intelligence. So things I know are going to be very different for me- thank god for vibrators & the fact I truly am 100% fullfilled and happy by myself.
But where I am headed is filled with ambitious, high achievers who focus on who you have become & what you are doing to grow- not where you came from.
So no I'm not looking to date, the one who I fell for with he knows who he is. He even has messages to prove it. So sorry guys, I'm not wanting to go on free dinner dates etc- if your wanting to spend time with me while I'm still escorting, sure- but please understand I'm focusing on dates, overnights. Always happy to see those I have established bonds with. But I'm only available on Saturdays/Sundays or sometimes after 1am if I feel like it during the week. Sometimes Friday if I'm not feeling Price action I can be available after 9pm.
I've retired before & it didn't work out- I've said I was leaving and I didn't. I did a lot of work on myself the last 8 months and I reflected on each of those times- I was leaving for someone else every-time, without another skill that could earn me the same or more with the same things I like about the lifestyle. I'm grateful the man I fell for even though at one point offered to "retire" me, things were thought about deeper. Because if he did and things didn't work out I'd have to come back whether I wanted to or not. I would have done it for him, not for me & I would have always had the "what if" thoughts regarding my finances & felt dependant on someone and a relationship working out- I don't want that. Me making the choice on my own & trading means I do not "need" or rely on someone.
I thought deeply about things & where I want to go in my life. I pondered the things I like about escorting (freedom, high income, being my own boss, staging home a lot, etc) the things I didn't like (capped earning- can only physically do so much, unpredictable, erratic hours, lack of routine/schedule) trading is everything I love and everything I was missing. I decided to invest further in my education & found ways to obtain capital without needing to do porn etc to build capital like I was originally going to do. I found something I like that ticks all my boxes (haha).
I'm doing this for me, if I were to ever dip my toes back into this world I know it would be not because a relationship fell apart or I lacked a high earning skill to do & was necessary to go back - but it would be because I was bored, maybe horny & wanted too. I'm more comfortable with this knowledge. I know from falling for someone and closing out chapters that had been left open for 8yrs that I am ready to love someone again, so the likelihood of me coming back to this world having such a high income skill & being the type of person I am - is next to none.
I care about my lovers, friends, clients - feel weird calling them that. I actually want to get the time too schedule too see them before I go into so many accounts. I'm not retiring because I dislike them or the bonds I've built but I know in order to work on other areas of my life it's necessary. (I'm a very weird individual- as they know). Some of the people I'm close too don't live in Brisbane- they also know I hate traveling so we need to schedule me to fly to them or them to have a holiday in BNE (🤞🙏🏻). I don't like to drop in with SMS on people unless I know it's 💯 safe & okay to do so. So yes I'm drawing attention, mainly to them. Because some I've had some truly grate times with and made some really funny memories too ( like slipping into the bathtub mid doing a toy show and nearly taking out their balls on a island holiday) or another person (having sex in a cupboard during a crazy storm 😅) and many that I honestly cannot even write. I actually really care for people I've met as an escort, they are friends to me- but I know how I am I barely see friends now. It's also dysfunctional and we cannot just walk up to each other on the street.
So I'm giving time for that closure- as someone who didn't get closure from some parts of my life I know how that can impact some people. I know that in some circumstances I am truly loved too, so I know it's a hard time for many and well even though we have had the conversations in person, I know it didn't really seem that real as it looked like I was aiming to go further in this industry ( capital chasing) - the fact I'm getting my boobs done soon - I won't be doing it until I retire I think though as I want to have boobs that haven't been seen 😅 just for me.
I'm still posting, I'm still face out well yes I have another venture that will be incorporating Armarni- her journey. I've been very out, I was on pornhub. If I don't own this part of me, others will try to use it against me in my future. So Armarni will still have a presence, but she will not be seeing people or doing video calls. It also won't be profiting from other escorts (no directory, mentorship, photography etc). It's just something I'm working on with a bigger picture & I wont say more until it's launched.
Big things happening but no Armarni hasn't landed a whale 🐋 haha the guy i fell for was actually like normal money too- like as stupid as it probably is I am not like that. I didn't even know what car he had until after I had told him how I feel so 😂 everyone think I'm a whale hunter 🤣.
I am just being more selective of my time and working towards my next goals in life but yes I am a little scared I'll close up when I retire 😅 and my eyes will permanently be square from the screens 💱🧑💻📊📈.
Life's crazy, sending peace & love.